With great t-shirts comes great responsibly. I avoid responsibility.
Maybe it’s the Asperger’s or maybe its just plain old American misanthropy but I was tempted the other day to lose weight and switch to plain color t-shirts from Gap or Banana Republic. I realize that t-shirts are great conversation pieces but I don’t know that I ever want to repeat what happened on my monthly day off again.
I have an irrational attachment to several things, notably and rudely: Doctor Who. I have several fantastic, mass-produced t-shirts and on my monthly day off I get to wear one. I do not expect to have them commented upon because I’ve been a Doctor Who fan for over thirty years. I am not used to having compatriots. I don’t like it.
I don’t like it that people talk to me in public on my day off. I don’t like that people like what I like. What I don’t like the most is that I am “that guy.” You know “that guy,” when he (or she, let’s not be sexist) finds out you like Pink Floyd and they have to prove to you that they like Pink Floyd more than you and more than you ever possibly could. No one likes that person and I don’t like that person, can’t we all like Pink Floyd and Doctor Who, in private? Leave me alone so I don’t have to be that guy.
If I were dying of cancer and they were all, “you’re an old bastard but we’ll let you make a wish,” mine would be that Emma Watson be the Doctor and Rupert Grint her companion. Daniel Radcliffe being there could also happen but Hermione Granger is the end all, be all. Sondra is allowed to disagree but I really will not set aside my privilege long enough to care what anyone else thinks. I won’t even pretend.
So, my shirt posed this dilemma for me because in my professional life (and I use ‘professional’ in the loosest possible sense) its my job to make small talk and care about what you think, on my day off (as I’ve beaten to death: I get one a month) the last thing I want to do is be awkward with other awkward people. I am not your support group.
Then, you know, I hated to do it but I had to remember what the Doctor is all about. I couldn’t be cruel or cowardly, but I could be a sarcastic ass (but alas, this wasn’t the time). I had to be nice to the uncomfortable man at the movie theatre because that is what the Doctor wouldn’t really do but it is what he’d WANT the humans to do. Luckily, it was the cinema and they are strict about going the film you paid for at the time you paid to see it and I was given an out.
I regret few things in life and I do few things with sincerity but one of the things I sincerely regret is being born human. There has to be an easier planet to live on with sentient beings aware of their sentience.
However, if I am going to wear t-shirts that profess my puerile appreciation for great television then I have to live up to that responsibility. That is, until I lose weight.